Sunday, November 2, 2014

Desire controls all.

Desire controls all.

I had a rough childhood and to retreat I found the world of computers. I learned on one of the first I could use, a wang with 4k of core memory. I loved the ideas about computers, the unforseen potential that I would never see. And I got irritated that I would spend my life in a world of computers and only be able to get a small amount of enjoyment from it.

God has given me the gift of faith. I knew that whatever I had enough faith for I could do, as I've done small things before, studied them to learn them, then dropped them as I wasn't sure if that was magic or not. And the Bible tells us not to do magic. Since I don't know what magic is, and I really don't want to study it if it's wrong, I stayed away from it.

I realized something. I was smart, I was intelligent and I could get anything I want. And I decided that I wanted to live in a world of computers where I could make anything I could think of, and decided to dedicate my life to helping the computer field.

In my progress though life I lost sight of this and lived my life the best I could, didn't even know if I wanted to make my living in the computer industry and wandered a lot of my life, then I'd go back into computers, learn everything they had come up with that point and go on to different things. I never realized I was doing this, only I would think, maybe I can play a good game now! And got some good ones.

I leaned the games as they came out when I could get them, but apparently I got a hold of the ones that I needed to. I played Diablo and loved their random item generation. I liked their control system. Since I talked about the things I liked and would criticize at times, "Why don't they make the controls all the same!" and move on to other things. Then they come out with controllers and LCD and such and computers improve.

From NexusTK I encourged Orb, learned debugging, helped the community, taught children how to play, learned how to try to deal fair justice. And I picked up a student so had to learn to teach.

From "The Telephone Shop" I learned wiring and voice communications and was introduced to an AS400.

From Kenwood I learned broadcast energy.
From Conex Freight I learned data management, RPG, data recovery, network wiring, fiber optics, DSL, office skills and many skills I was sent to school for to be a better worker.
From Cels Enterprises I learned NT networking, helpdesk, and some social skills I was lacking.
From California Nautical and Safe Navigation I learned navigation and database programming.
There was one time I got a job at Record a Call as a data entry operator for a while, and I learned when to be decisive as I lost a job by putting an application in on the last day, and I would of gotten the job, but they gave it to the other programmer who applied the day before.
I worked for McDonald Douglas for one day and learned about computer multitasking.
I volunteered at Illarion and learned server programming.
Through this all I learned that no computer language is better than others because all were written for something specific in mind.
I refused to learn polish notation because I thought it was flawed. Luckily time found this to be true and it was dropped and I figured it would be.
I programmed in every language I had, learning oops from C++ in my own time.

I played Wurm for a time and I loved the concept but it was flawed. I saw so much more potential, and.. something happened. In a manic state I found myself making promises I couldn't understand, only that I had to say them. When God tells you to do something don't stop wonder why, just do it.  God talks to all of us, but differently. As He told the Isrealites, to Moses He speaks in a voice, to others they dream dreams. We were not to question why.

All who reach enlightenment hear the voice of God in our own time, when it is ready for us. I have always had a question, why was I made? and I am given the answer.

I remembered my true wish. I could do anything I wanted, help anyone I wanted because I knew I could do anything I wanted with perseverance. And I wondered who I should help. While sitting in a computer room on a computer. And the answer was obvious, the burgeoning computer industry. And to do that I had to become selfish, so God made me selfish to want to work at the apex of the profession.

I only remember bits and pieces from the conversation on Wurm. But I remembered a promise was made and I don't know exactly what, because I can not remember it. I heard God saying he won. Then someone told me he cheated. He made me forget/dumb. God laughed and I laughed as I reflected on my life and realized that I had intentionally learned how to hypnotize myself to forget things in my path of life. And so when I want to forget something, I can.

If nothing happens, society has flourished in the computer industry at least by Minecraft which supports... how many?

And now the pieces are complete. With Minecraft you can place anything anywhere. With Wurm you can make it fancy as you like. Because the people at Wurm continued the game and made their concept better.

Because of industry competition [conflict] we have now built up sufficient mammon of unrighteousness.  I keep mispelling it mana and I am told that nothing is by accident. I call it mammon of unrighousness. You may call it what you will. God's currency?

And now with this realization my lifes work that I didn't even know I was working on is complete and the computer industry has matured with the assets it needs to bring in the new Messianic age.

Wisdom: "He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal."
There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends

I have always hated my life because it was hard. I worked hard in the computer industry giving up my other potential life for the people of the computer industry who comforted me when I needed it.

I make no statements. Only observations. Only God can speak for Himself.

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